Lately...

I'm very excited on my new venture to start over with some "new beginnings." Now that this relatively short chapter of my life has come to an end, I just think it is time for me to make some changes. Changes in attitude, clothing, and overall outlook on life. One of the main things I want to work on, is how I let other people get to me. I've always been the quiet one, and when someone says anything to me, negative or not, I just usually keep quiet. Well if anything, I've learned from my previous situations that this is not always the best way to handle things. I know how I should be treated, and I am going to expect nothing less than that. As should all of you out there :)

One major thing I am trying to work on right now is shaking this feeling that I want/need a boyfriend. I think it comes from being around my roommate and her boyfriend all the time. They don't overdo it on the pda thank goodness, but still, sometimes I just reaalllyyy want to not be the third wheel. The only problem with this is, I haven't really met any suitable potential bf's...at all. What is wrong with this picture? haha

later hoes,
ash

Today :)

Ok, so today started off terrbile. I was feeling sick and hated going to school. After I got home, I started cleaning my room & was so tired I may have fallen asleep. Anyways, I helped mom make dinner & had an epiphany: I am so going to pull a "Julie & Julia" thing, and cook the entire Mastering The Art of French Cooking. I'm not gonna have a deadline, but I am going to do it :)

Any feedback would be freakin awesome :)

peace bitches :)
Carol

Sooo...

It seems like all of the guys I know are getting into relationships. And its not just the older guys...its like all of them. FB is getting blown up with people changing their statuses. It is ridiculous!!

anywhoseys, nothing of real importance happened to me today. Some like 13 year old hit on one of my friends/co-workers. It was hilarious!! he legit winked at her...I about peed myself with the look on her face when she realized he was trying to spit game.

ok, that is all.

And remember, "Try not. Do, or Do not. There is no Try." - Master Yoda :)

peace bitches :)
Carol

Moving On

I think that this is something a lot of people tend to struggle with: When should I just give it up, and move on? For me personally, it usually takes me awhile to grasp this concept. I mean I have a love/hatred (more recently, hate) relationship with one of my guy friends, and while the constant arguing is beyond tiring/frustrating, I'm not able to just walk away. That particular case still is thoroughly confusing to me because I want to rid myself of that drama, but I can't. ANNOYING. However, the main reason for blogging on this topic is due to my recent triumph in this area. I've recently blogged about my situation with my half-brother. I kind of come off as this hardass that once you piss me off that's it...and for the most part that is kind of true. But I guess since this was just a weird situation, it was a bit harder. This past weekend, I found myself getting really down and depressed over everything and didn't even know how to handle it. However, that all changed when I recieved a facebook message from him. It was two sentences but full of lies and accusations that really should have been directed at himself, not me. Oddly enough, something like that, something that should have made me even more upset, made me get the nerve to get over all of it. If I never hear from him again, I will be happy. The less dramatic my adult life will be.


Thanks for listening dolls!
Ashley

Excited!

So, I am uber excited b/c ashley & I now have 2 blogs!! this one is for us to vent & tell anyone and everyone about what is going on in our lives, while the other is all twilight :) b/c of course, we are obssessed!! check it out!! it is named Carol and Ash's Twilight Corner!!

My LIfe :)

Ok, so my life isnt as stressful as ash's, but to me, it is imprtant. In short, I am over guys thinking they can play you...I am done. I have gotten hurt a lot in the past year, & I dont really know how much more I can take. So I am on haitus from looking for any type of relationship from a guy (unless you are gay, then no doubt I will love you!). Its ridiculous that they think we are the ones that are hard to figure out. I know I may not say what is on my mind 24/7, but seriously, get over yourself. You are an idiot for letting me go. I am done crying over assholes that dont deserve the time to even say hello, done fucking my schedule up to fit your's, just so you can cancel, I am done feeling like I am not worthy. I am worthy, you are the one who shouldnt have the right to even lick the bottom of my Uggs. Don't think you can tell me you're sorry. That shit doesn't work here anymore...access denied. You are a fuck up and I don't ever want to speak to you again.

Thanks for letting me vent loves :)

Done-zo Carol :D

Where to start...

I've had to put up with a lot of crap lately. In the course of less than a year and a half, my family found my long-lost half-brother, only to have him leave our lives shortly after. Everything started out just fine, we all thought that this was an amazing miracle bestowed on us. My half-brother, who is on disability, was unable to work, and with four kids neither was his wife who is their caregiver. So, out of the goodness of our hearts we invited them to move from California, to our home in NC in order to provide them with a good home and a chance for my sister in law to go to school. Soon after, it became clear that this was not even their intent. It's hard to adequately describe everything that went down. It is quite obvious to me and the rest of my family that these people were not healthy mentally/emotionally. They would pick apart every little word we would say and try to analyze it. Analyzing it to the point where it wasn't even what we said anymore. And they would act off assumptions like that. I know that my half-brother didn't exactly have the best upbringing, his birth mother was less than desirable. But that is no excuse for his behavior. On many many occassions they would sit there and lie directly to our faces, about anything and everything. My mother probably did the most for them. She is of no biological relation to any of them, but she did it because she knew it would mean a lot to both her daughters and my dad. And although they knew all of this, they still chose to treat her the worst of all of us. I don't think I can ever forget walking into my house and hearing my half-brother literally screaming at her...over NOTHING. My dad almost kicked them out that day, and in hindsight, I wish he would have. We put so much time, money, and effort into getting them here, and this is how they repay us? Heck no. And yesterday I get a facebook message from the jerks saying "we really dont care that you removed us from your siblings, but that rude and immature attitude is why we left."

Excuse me? First of all, if you didn't care, why even bother typing out a message?
Second, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?
Third, after all the crappy situations he put me and my family through, I am NOT going to feel bad for not thinking of him as family anymore.
And lastly, he left because of things they did. Nothing we did. He can't even see that he is to blame for everything that has happened to him.